"THE KAFKAESQUE ABSURDITY OF LIFE"
a play in one act by brandontvedt
Characters:
SELLER: A humble purveyor of goods and services on Fiverr
CUSTOMER: A mysterious, enigmatic figure.
CS REP: An even more enigmatic figure
SCENE 1
(Curtain rises on Seller, sitting at his desk, typing away on a computer.
SELLER: (Interrupts his typing for a moment) Aha, excellent! It looks like I have sold another order. Let’s see what it says.
CUSTOMER: Hello, Seller! What a great gig you have. I’d like you to do [This], [That], and [The Other Thing], if you don’t mind.
SELLER: Well sir, I would be happy to help you, but I would like to point out that while you may want [This], [That], and [The Other Thing], you bought my basic gig, which only covers [This]. If you want [That] and [The Other Thing], you’ll have to pay for them and purchase my Extras.
CUSTOMER: Hmm, well, Seller, paying for the extras seems to be out of my budget at this time. Guess I’ll have to stick with [This] then.
SELLER: No problem. Here you go, take a look at [This].
CUSTOMER: What in the hell is [This]? I didn’t want [This], I wanted [This], [That], and [The Other Thing]. [This] doesn’t help me, and is completely valueless! RAGE!
CUSTOMER: (Leaves negative review on the gig, claiming that [This] wasn’t helpful when in fact it is exactly what they bought and paid for, and is obviously valuable on an objective level to anyone who looks at the deliverable)
SELLER: Sigh. (SELLER proceeds to double facepalm in frustration, and then open a ticket with Fiverr Customer Service to have them remove the obviously false feedback).
CS REP: Puny mortal! What brings ye here today to the foot of Mt. Fiverr?
SELLER: (Cowering) Please, o whimsical and capricious entities, I entreat you to hear my plea! Use your powers to banish this false and untrue feedback from my gig, restoring my abilities to sell my mighty extras! And if you have the time, inform this buyer that ‘I didn’t get $20 of stuff for free’ isn’t a valid reason to leave a thumbs’ down rating!
CS REP: Silence, mortal! Our ways are mysterious. Please expect a reply within 72 hours.
SELLER: Erm…okay? (Crosses his fingers)
FIN
a play in one act by brandontvedt
Characters:
SELLER: A humble purveyor of goods and services on Fiverr
CUSTOMER: A mysterious, enigmatic figure.
CS REP: An even more enigmatic figure
SCENE 1
(Curtain rises on Seller, sitting at his desk, typing away on a computer.
SELLER: (Interrupts his typing for a moment) Aha, excellent! It looks like I have sold another order. Let’s see what it says.
CUSTOMER: Hello, Seller! What a great gig you have. I’d like you to do [This], [That], and [The Other Thing], if you don’t mind.
SELLER: Well sir, I would be happy to help you, but I would like to point out that while you may want [This], [That], and [The Other Thing], you bought my basic gig, which only covers [This]. If you want [That] and [The Other Thing], you’ll have to pay for them and purchase my Extras.
CUSTOMER: Hmm, well, Seller, paying for the extras seems to be out of my budget at this time. Guess I’ll have to stick with [This] then.
SELLER: No problem. Here you go, take a look at [This].
CUSTOMER: What in the hell is [This]? I didn’t want [This], I wanted [This], [That], and [The Other Thing]. [This] doesn’t help me, and is completely valueless! RAGE!
CUSTOMER: (Leaves negative review on the gig, claiming that [This] wasn’t helpful when in fact it is exactly what they bought and paid for, and is obviously valuable on an objective level to anyone who looks at the deliverable)
SELLER: Sigh. (SELLER proceeds to double facepalm in frustration, and then open a ticket with Fiverr Customer Service to have them remove the obviously false feedback).
CS REP: Puny mortal! What brings ye here today to the foot of Mt. Fiverr?
SELLER: (Cowering) Please, o whimsical and capricious entities, I entreat you to hear my plea! Use your powers to banish this false and untrue feedback from my gig, restoring my abilities to sell my mighty extras! And if you have the time, inform this buyer that ‘I didn’t get $20 of stuff for free’ isn’t a valid reason to leave a thumbs’ down rating!
CS REP: Silence, mortal! Our ways are mysterious. Please expect a reply within 72 hours.
SELLER: Erm…okay? (Crosses his fingers)
FIN