Is my gig presentation page good enough? Do you have any advices to Give me?

Hi everyone,
I'm on Fiverr as a musician, and I mostly compose and record tracks for my buyers. For the moment I'm payed few bucks for a lot of hours working on Fiverr, but this is in order to get my first reviews. And so recently I decided to built-up the first prototype of how my new gigs will work when I'll be a level 2 seller. The real change is all about the way I charge the buyers for an order, I think it is way more easy for the buyer now to understand what my gig is all about. But I would like to have your point of view, so: here is a sample of how my actual gigs looks like:
http://www.fiverr.com/shirinsep/compose-a-song-for-you-with-lyrics-and-record-it
And this is a sample of how they will all look like when I'll be a level 2 seller on Fiverr:
http://www.fiverr.com/shirinsep/compose-and-record-a-30-seconds-custom-ringtone

So I would love to hear your feedbacks about this gig! The way I desccribe it, the way I charge people....Maybe my gigs aren't really clear, and if you think so, please tell it to me, this will be useful for me! :) I'm still a newbie on Fiverr so having some tips to get my gigs more views would be much appreciated! :)

Thanks for taking time to read, and maybe for taking time to answer! :)
Louis